Teleshopping!

'The Hotline'

I let my fingers do the walking,
leafing through jaundiced sheets
for oh-so-sweet relief.

'Bold and Beatiful - Lingerie for the Fuller Figure'
Trembling digits tap the keys,
stirring my member.

Jackpot - a female voice answers.
Inventing the scenario of a wife's birthday,
I ask her to describe the range
of bras, panties, bustiers and thongs,
of chiffon, silk, cotton, velvet and lace -
if only I could see her face.

On cue, I settle back and follow my fingers to the box of Kleenex -
while she opens with an earnest response, mouthing me into a lather.